Disappointed & Passed Over

I've become far too used to tears.

It seems they're present more often than not, to the point that I sometimes don't even notice that I'm crying.

When an outburst of tears came today, I had to wonder when all this started.

I didn't used to cry much.

I was sad, sure. Depressed. Unhappy.

But I rarely cried.

Somewhere in the past few years, it all changed.

And now, lately, I sometimes am unable to even speak without tears.

There's too much anger.

Too much pain, sadness and disappointment.

And other feelings that I couldn't begin to describe.

I honestly feel as though I'm going crazy.

I know I'm better than this.

But right now it's getting the better of me.

I have to fight it. And I will.

I just can't find the strength yet.

This is the bottom.

I have to get up.